>about emotional cravings<


if you love someone, wouldn't you want to be with that person each day? to see that person each day? to spend as much time as you can with that person each day?

i dont get it ah.

giving too much space would be to allow your partner to have a lot of friends of the opposite sex and your partner starts to spend more time with them than with you. right? or even spending time with his friends of the same sex till late at night, much more than he hangs out with you? is that too much space?

i dont get it ah.

perhaps this is the reason why some people indulge in emotional infidelity. we seek attention from someone who is willing to give it to us. we want to feel good about who we are. we want to be loved and acknowledged for who we are. we want to feel validated and needed. so do we find ways to satisfy this attention craving disorder? or do we ignore it and just hold on?

i dont get it ah.
nona ; 11:29 AM
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>about loving your work<


oh goodness. it's been a while since my last entry. so little time, so much to do. but here goes...

the past few days has been really jam packed with work related issues and also self-discovery moments. but to sum it all up, i'm indeed thankful for being able to do the things that i'm currently doing.

i suppose my passion for the job supercedes the need to somehow find something better at this point. being a radio DJ makes you current. listeners tune in to us 5 to 6 days a week. we are closer and much more personal with our listeners due to the nature of radio in this present day.

i love my job. it keeps me occupied and it challenges me to keep doing better in my presentation and in sharing my knowledge with others. how many of us are able to say that we love what we are doing?

are you doing what you are doing because you love to do it or are you working because of something else? what i'd like to share today is how to love what you do and create success out of it.

from childhood, we learn that we have to work hard to achieve success. we also have learned that it takes lot of blood, sweat and tears to taste success. this is what our parents, elders, school and society teaches us, which gradually becomes our reality.

as we start to work, most of us think and believe that to work hard is something that we must do, but in reality we should be working on something that we love or like or are interested in.

life should be challenging and fun. this applies to both while we are working and enjoying a bit of leisure time. most people think and talk about pleasure when they are not working, but without work, the free time cannot carry the same value. if people are free for one year they definitely cannot enjoy the time. right?

highly successful people are the ones who do their work with lots of passion and excitement. if they are not enjoying and do not get excited, they cannot have the energy to move ahead every year. life can only succeed with passion and when that passion disappears, there is no more driving force left.

think of the love and passion you had in the past or for someone in your life. it can be love for a friend, or for someone fond in the past. it is so nice to meet them and to experience that lovely feeling all over again.

just imagine if you possess the same love and passion for anything you are working with. what do you think will be the result? you will smell this passion in the air and will attract more people who would like to associate themselves with you. now compare this with the person who only serves to get salary. you will soon realize who will be the more successful one.

if there is love and passion, anything is possible. think of Thomas Edison without his love and passion for electric bulb and definitely you will realize what I am trying to convey. this is what separates a performer and a mediocre person. the passion for work. there cannot be success without passion!

attitude is everything. think of children who love to be in the rain, till they hear their parents yelling at them. from that day onwards, the child relates rain with something negative. is your rainy day full of negativity or is it successful? this depends on what you choose!

like i've once said before, remember the joy you felt playing in the rain? it's an amazing feeling, right? remember the crush you once had, and how nice it felt to be in love and to have butterflies in your stomach?

feel that passion for what you're doing and success will come naturally. positive attitudes equates to positive outcomes.



if you don't feel that passion, perhaps you're not quite doing what you really are meant to do. ;)

and hisham, i'm proud of you for taking that big step and finally doing what you enjoy doing. well done dear! and... 18 more days to go!! yeay! ;)
nona ; 1:12 PM
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>about emotional independence<


i'm independent yet emotionally dependent. growing up in a difficult and challenging environment, means having to fend for yourself all the time. this hard-headedness and wanting to accomplish things all by myself is a strange trait developed slowly over the years.

i don't usually ask for help, because i'll do my best to get things done on my own and also because i don't enjoy burdening people with my issues. on top of that, having a big ego doesn't quite help. i'd rather suffer in silence and get over the pain by myself than to share it with someone else. selfish you say? but i'd like to think of it as independence.

however, when it comes to dealing with emotions, i have to admit i'm quite a mess at times. these negative emotions i have at times are probably brought out due to what i call emotional dependency. and this is following or reacting to the situation at hand and also towards other people.

i'd love to achieve emotional independence someday. i want to be free when it comes to choosing my emotions and moods. what would be excellent is to be able to choose your life and how you live and feel and what you do. an emotionally independent person is a leader. the dependent ones follow.

we need to learn the difference between true and false feeling, compassion and suffering. learn the causes of these states. determine the cause of our suffering. see the unfulfilled desires that cause your suffering. the desire to possess that which you cannot have. you want what you cannot have, therefore you suffer. that suffering is from our imagination, our ego.

i want and i can't have, therefore i suffer. so who is the cause of your suffering? external circumstances or our own minds?

i feel that suffering is caused by not accepting reality. think about reality and imagination. accepting reality is living in the realm of truth. therefore suffering is purely illusion in our imagination because it is caused by a refusal to accept reality, desiring what we cannot have.

have no unattainable desires and you will have no suffering. accepting reality is to; 'not desire what is not acquirable.'

emotional dependence is to; 'desire what is not acquirable.'

emotional independence is to; 'not desire what is not acquirable.'

emotional dependence is to imagine that everything and everyone belongs to you and therefore should respond to your needs so that they give you praise and never contradict you or complain about anything you do.

emotional independence is to acknowledge that every thing and person has its own destiny, life and rights and therefore nothing belongs to you. everything and everyone is free to be or say what they want, as you would like to be.

essentially, emotional independence is where you don't make someone else responsible for your happiness.

there are times when i feel so low because i care so much about how people think about me and how they react towards my feelings and needs. i get upset when things don't turn out they way i want it to, which shouldn't really be the case. i expect too much out of people i love and i hate myself for it at times...

with that said, i'm still learning to be emotionally independent. i need to acknowledge my shortcomings so that i can improve on it. i want to be balanced emotionally and very much contented.

so, the philosophy shall go like this:

you can think what you want, that will not change my life.

what I think WILL change my life.

I choose to be the master of my life, so I leave you to think what you want,

and I will choose my thoughts for myself.



i'm doing my best. are you?
nona ; 10:20 PM
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>about loving yourself like nicole would<


have you ever wished you were taller or prettier or skinnier or smarter or everything else that you're perhaps not? well, i have. it doesn't quite help that i work in an industry where looks indeed matter.

yesterday during project hope, i got to see quite a few big stars like the gorgeous ZOE TAY, Joanne Peh, Michelle Chia and the handsome Nat Ho, Adrian Pang and many more.. and you know what i realised about the females there?

they are all sooooo tiny and petite! seriously! i felt like a GIANT.

it was a little depressing at first, but after moments of reflection, i realised that there must be something about me for the producers to place me there at the celebrity phone lines area beside other stars... all that, despite me being not so tiny like the rest.

my point is, if you're good, then people will look at you. hide those insecurities and work on polishing your strengths. self-confidence takes effort. i used to be a tomboy in school. i was never the prettiest. i was fat as a kid and teenager. but my strength was in speaking well.

as i grew older, i learnt about grooming and that helped me realise the importance of looking good to create a lasting impression on people you meet. i started exercising, eating healthily and lost quite a bit of weight. till today, i still push myself to workout at least 3 to 5 times a week, despite the weight plateauing for the longest time.

love your self and your body. yes, loving the way you look is accepting the realistic perception of your appearance. you shouldn't feel bad just because you don't look like nicole scherzinger. work towards being in good physical shape and that will be best. the reward will be a beautiful healthy body.

i might not turn skinny like kate moss. but the least i can do is to tone up and look healthy, not malnourished. i still struggle with self-confidence but i'm working on it each day so that i can be a better individual and also kinder to myself.

self confidence comes from what you believe about yourself and others. if you believe everyone can do it better than you, then you underestimate your own ability.

believe that YOU CAN DO IT! and others are not better than you!

remember that NO ONE is perfect.

learn to be comfortable with yourself and who you are. can?

.
.
.

but of course...

secretly, i do wish that someday i'll be as hot as nicole scherzinger. haha! ;P


nona ; 2:49 PM
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>about positivity masking negativity<


i think i might be schizophrenic at times. there's a part of me that enjoys meeting new people, exploring new things and interacting with the world out there. but there's also this other part of me that'd rather be cooped up alone, away from everyone and everything while appreciating silence. this dual personality of sorts needs to be switched on and off automatically, depending on the situation. it can be tiring but i'm doing alright so far. a social hermit would be an oxymoron but that's indeed what i am for now.

in any case, the weekend has been crazy. emotionally challenging and physically demanding. but meeting amazing people and being around wonderful people makes it worth the ride.

sometimes i wonder how i've managed to survive this far. this bubbly and positive outlook shields the vulnerability of a fragile and emotionally battered soul. but i choose not to let the dark overcome me. people think i'm doing really well but people don't see what's on the other side. and i shall keep it that way.

i've always wanted to be a role model in any possible way i can. i know i cant change the world. but at least i can push those around me or those who know me towards growing into a better person each day. =)

what i'm saying is that it's alright to feel down or terrible about yourself and the state that you're in. but don't ever make it as an excuse for you to not move on and achieve greatness. remember that the strength of character is built through adversity. you have your story and i have mine. let's live it to the fullest and come what may.

have a good week ahead everyone!

+++

" i want to jump into the deep blue ocean. face the sky. open my arms and drown. listening to the endless echoes of the creatures beneath. embracing the darkness and slowly fading away..."
nona ; 12:54 PM
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>about pausing and absorbing the little moments of happiness<


life has been stagnant, but enriching so far. i'm still learning how to achieve emotional satisfaction from day to day. if i were to think about the negative aspects of my life, i'd probably be one messy and depressed lady. i'm sure there are happy moments in our life that is good enough to boost our spirits.

i suppose we must really learn to take time to stop and truly appreciate the good things that happen to usevery day.. the view from our windows, the sound of thunder and rain, the laughter of our children, a good joke, the adrenalin we get from a good workout, lonely bus rides or simply whatever makes us feel joy and evokes positive feelings also helps to boost our overall satisfaction with life. it also helps build resilience that will take us through tough times, and help fight off depression while managing stress.

when was the last time we walked in the rain?

when was the last time we played hide and seek?

when was the last time we lied down on the ground and gaze at the sky above?

do you remember how good it felt to do all those things?

the happiness, the adrenalin rush, the contentment that those little things brought along is an amazing feeling.

as we grow older and bestowed with various responsibilities, we must not forget our inner child. the innocence in simply wanting to be happy.

yes, you can work hard, be productive and achieve success. but if you're unable to pause for a while and take your mind off work to do something that will make you unconditionally happy, then perhaps you're not living life to it's fullest.

as for me, i'm still learning to constantly find happiness in uncertainty. it hasn't been easy but i will do my best. good things will come. insya'Allah. =)

have a good weekend everyone!
nona ; 12:51 PM
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>about conquering, controlling and banishing fear<


we cannot erase history because there's too much to learn from past experiences and happenings. therefore, i've added the blog archives on my sidebar.. for my dear readers to read my previous entries and reflections. feel free to read. and perhaps even judge. go ahead. i'm ready. ;)

thank you everyone for making the effort to come along for the movie. it's these little bonding sessions we have that makes our family even stronger. we might be small in numbers but we are big on strength and love. =)

strength conquers fear.
strong minds controls fear.
strong willpower banishes fear.

we all have our fears. losing our loved ones. losing our jobs. losing money to failed investments. losing our hopes for a better future. losing our faith.

we fear so many things that sometimes seem uncertain. this fear can either overcome us or make us even stronger. it's how you convert that fear into a tool to push you forward. to strive and excel in whatever you do. to be better than what you are today. to perform better that how you did yesterday or the days before.

we all have phobias at some stage of our lives, its part of who we are, it's what drives us. however, even though we all have it, some have it more than others for various reasons. many will deal with the psychology of failure in an analytical way but some will just crumble under the pressure, its quiet common for some to give up before they even start.

if you succumb to that fear, then you will fall back into the safety net and continue living in the rat race. to work and make ends meet. be safe or take risks? you decide on which path that suits you best. fear hinders greatness but it also propels towards it.

if we choose to face fear, we will walk out a better man. despite overcoming it or not, it's the act of looking fear into the eye and getting through it that makes us more enriched as a person.

if you fall. get up and continue walking. don't sit down and cry at the reasons that caused you to fall and wait for someone to pull you up. this is your journey. and along the way, you will find people who will run with you, lead and even pace your walk. life will never come easy. it's the bumpy journey that makes it exciting.

i truly feel that life is too short for what-ifs. i've got so many fears myself but i choose not to focus so much of my energy on it. convert that energy into positivity and look forward to grooming and exploring your potentials to a higher level.

"A child does not have to be taught how to be happy or the ways of love. It is fear, hatred, and prejudice that have to be taught. And from the condition of the world we can see that unfortunately there are some very good teachers."

fear not my friend, for God will always be with you. Insya'allah. =)
nona ; 11:48 AM
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>about ramadan going away.. and welcoming syawal<


ramadan passed by way too quickly for me. i miss that inner peace and tranquility of that special month. it's a time of reflection, a time of giving and a time dedicated even more to God. it also marks slightly more thatn a year of my beloved grandma passing away. it feels empty without her around. but she still lives in my memories... and i indeed miss her very much till today...

this morning, as i asked for forgiveness from my aunt whom i call Ibu, it struck me that she's growing old.. and she's all i've got eversince i became an orphan two years ago. i promised that i'll take good care of her and i will do my best to make her happy.

life is more than about running around in the rat race. life is more than about making money to satisfy our material needs. life is more than about overdoing each other. life should be lived with a purpose.

for me, nothing is more fulfilling than to see my loved ones smile and be happy. for now it's my Ibu, Haris, my brother and Hisham. they are a priority in my life at this point.

my Ibu has been such a strong woman. taking care of me and my siblings all on her own till she got married when i was 6.. only to lose her husband when i was 12. beyond that, it was her who brought us up singlehandedly. working hard to make ends meet just to put us through school. i'm blessed to have her take care of me till today.

my brother, despite the pain that he can be, i'm thankful that he's been taking care of Haris when i'm away at work.. making sure that the house work is done and basically, keeping everyone at home safe when i'm away..

Haris is an angel. the sunshine in our family. the positive little boy who grew up a little to fast for his age. he is the smartest, loving, caring, understanding and such a responsible 5 year old that i've ever known. and i'm glad to call him my son, even though he's not mine to begin with... having him in my life is a blessing..

looking forward into the future, i'm excited cos i've met my match. Hisham has been beyond amazing. he's the pillar of support i need to make things a little easier. he makes me laugh, he makes me smile, he makes me think and he believes in me. he is GOD sent.

alhamdulillah. i'm thankful for what Allah has given me. it might not be perfect, but it makes me happy. i will still continue doing my best in whatever it is that i'm doing and i will make things better. for my family and i.

we may moan for not having this.. for not having that.. for not being like this.. for not being like that.. but if only we open ur eyes, to see what we have.. Masya'Allah.. we are indeed blessed with many things that perhaps others don't have.

it's syawal now.. another brand new month with another beginning... forgive those who have hurt you at one point in time. love those around you with all that your heart can ever give. forget the bitter memories and fill it with sweet ones from happy moments that passed by.

if i've ever said words or done things that made you unhappy or hurt your feelings, i'm sorry.

if i've ever taken something from you without your knowledge or permission, i'm sorry.

if i've ever crossed your paths without saying hi, i'm sorry.

everything that is good comes from Allah, and everything that is bad, comes from me, his humble creation.

Selamat Hari Raya Aildilfitri... Minal Aidin Wal Fa Izin... =)
nona ; 10:55 AM
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>about being S.M.A.R.T<


so much has happened since my last entry. both good and bad. but actually more good than bad. heh. ;)

good - NORAH AILEEN has finally taken off. for those who are wondering.. why the name.. actually, it's in honour of my late grandmother. that's her name. =)

bad - i havent been sleeping and resting as much as i should. and the bad allergic reaction i had on sunday night was just scary. my face and body was swollen all over. i do not wish to go through such a horrifying experience again.

on a random note. i met my secondary school girlfriends last night and as always, the meet up was fruitful and enriching. more business ideas came up and i'm very excited about making things happen.

i love my work in radio. it's a childhood dream come true. but as i grow older, there are the other little compartments in my aspirations box that needs to be filled. i need to take action and make my dreams become a reality. it's more about self-fulfillment in attaining measureable success.

most of us are sometimes afraid to take action as we are so comfortable with what we have. i feel that this comfort zone takes away our wanting to do well and better in life. most of us plan but we fail to take action. we want to be successful, but how much have we done to get there?

have you heard about S.M.A.R.T when it comes to goal setting?

let me share with you the meaning of it.

S - Specific
M - Measurable
A - Attainable
R - Realistic
T - Timely expectations

make sure that the goal you are working towards is something that you really want. remember that a goal that you set for yourself cannot contradict other goals in your life. no one said it was going to be easy, but you have to consider six areas of your life when you start setting your goals, so that you don't go against other equally important aspirations.

most commonly these areas are divided into family and home, financial and career, spiritual and ethical, physical and health, social and cultural, as well as mental and educational. it's also important to consider writing your goals in a positive, rather than in a negative statement, including as much detail in the statement as possible to ensure that you have put parameters around realizing your goals. don't make it too easy.

the best way to visualize your goals is to write them down and review them each morning and evening. practice visualization on a consistent basis because this process will start both your subconscious and conscious mind working towards achieving your goal.

daily decision-making can either lead you away from your ultimate goal, or take you closer to it. when you make choices during the day, consider your goal. if your choice doesn't move you closer to your goal, it may be time to make a value assessment to determine if in fact this is the right decision at this time. and, unless someone is critical to helping you achieve your goal, do not freely share your thoughts with others.

the negative attitude from friends, family and neighbours can sometimes drag you down quickly. it is very important that you maintain positive self-talk. remember, a goal is really a dream with a deadline.

i'm still on my learning journey towards being a better person while working my way towards success. and i hope that by sharing these little thoughts, it would benefit my dear readers in one way or another.

have a good mid week everyone! =D
nona ; 1:58 PM
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>about work but not quite work<


just quick one. i barely even have time to breathe. so many things happening at one time.

work has been busy. but busy is always good. as long as work gets done, then i'm good.

i've recently launched http://norahaileen.livejournal.com/ which is an online PLUS SIZE ladies clothing boutique. it's taking up pretty much of my time in the evening. i barely sleep. but it's all worth it. cos i've been wanting to do this for the longest time. and this is just a start to bigger things... =)

ok. this saturday i'll be at IKEA Alexandra from 2 - 4pm. Then on Sunday morning at 4am, i'll be at a charity event for sahur with the team from Manja, some of the RIA djs and also Suria artistes. To be precise, I'll be at Darul Ihsan Lilbanat. on sunday, i'll be reading TV news, followed by my radio shift at 10pm - 2am. that pretty much sums up my weekend. also, i'll be producing HEALTH TIPS daily on Warna for the next one year! need to start working on that cos it starts next week!

anyway, i'm looking for someone kind enough to sponsor designing my online boutique.
anyone interested? email me at nonakirana@gmail.com

ok. time to do more work now.

but i love work. it keeps my mind VERY occupied. =)
nona ; 5:20 PM
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